I have already answered this

Clincoin’s preemptive answers

Some may find writing a response document incredibly disengaging, arrogant or even to whatever degree it is possible, pompous! I can assure you that if you think it is, I am all of those things. For the rest who can see reality without tinted glasses, I welcome you to save yourself from asking needless questions, and save me some time.

Index

When I use this document or link it for a response I will usually link the specific section, if you however find yourself (somehow) wandering about, wondering which section i actually was linking, i have set up a neat little index for you here.

  1. Me taking issue with your behaviour
    1.1 Conversations starters
    1.1.1 I am X ideology
    1.1.2 Where are you from
    1.2 Your topic is “baity”
    1.3 You say you’re right but unwilling to debate it
    1.4 Pretending we have some relation
    1.5 Unreasonable investigation expectations

  2. You taking issue with my behaviour
    2.1 I’m “too cold”
    2.2 I’m “narcissistic”
    2.3 I’m “sociopathic”
    2.4 I’m “grandiose/self-important”
    2.5 I’m censoring / deplatforming you by kicking you from my lounge room

  3. Frequently asked questions Q&A
    3.1 Why does the server not have non-debate rooms
    3.2 “Ohmygod the server requires me to watch an entire video”
    3.3 Why do I have to take a test for pic perms

  4. Otherwise things i want you to know
    4.1 Debate as an engagement style and topic
    4.2 What i seek in debate communities
    4.3 No I do not want to join your server
    4.4 Why you are getting blocked and possibly punished if you continue this behaviour
    4.5 Cope & seethe

1. Me taking issue with your behaviour

My worldviews and beliefs place added emphasis on something I call the propensity to be wrong. That means I am very willing to engage with you even if you have reasoning that in my view is faulty, wrongly informed or you have a whacko engagement style. Placing such emphasis can however not be done without also setting boundaries to avoid wasting time and to protect myself from attention exploiters. I therefore will when some conditions are met no longer favour that interaction (not necessarily person, but that specific interaction) and disengage or deflate it.

1.1 Conversations starters

Overall I am not a big fan of conversation starters. I mostly detest smalltalk and find it rather useless to ask about the weather, how someone else is feeling at the moment etc. Most of this is because if the other person has limitations on whatever interaction they wish to engage in, for instance if they are not emotionally available to have decent conversation that is not my issue, that’s for them to manage.

1.1.1 “I am X ideology”

This section is really similar to the section about baity topics, but unique in this regard: Having an ideology is pretty much ok, what am I supposed to do about it, get triggered? If instead of arguing particulars like policies you support or practices you want to practice, choose to argue on the notion of some ubiquitous set of ideas that is summed up in one or two words, then why should I bother talking with you?

This has big limitations for everyone, not just me, because the current colloquial understanding of a word or an ideology does not need to match yours. That places limitations to any sweeping arguments you may make pitting ideologies or ideas against one another.

Example: Pitting capitalism and communism against each other might make sense to some but not all, because someone might have differing definitions from the outlet. This is obviously a problem because if you are arguing against something that does not represent the opponent’s position you will inevitably miscommunicate, quite possibly get frustrated, maybe miffed.

Solution: Be specific to the point of agreement with the other person.

1.1.2 “Where are you from”

This is either an Ad Hominem in disguise (because it assumes that who i am as a person has any significance on my arguments) or a way to establish a common frame of reference based on generalised notions and stereotypes about people from the given place, or lastly a way to create common ground for smalltalk (which i detest).

In other words the only legitimate case for striking up this question is to try to start a conversation, at which point there are far better conversation starters. Get to the nitty gritty of things. Ask me how I define something, what I think about a set of events or values instead!

1.2 Your topic is “baity”

This is a separate segment because it covers both general topics, but also conversation starters. That is because it is a mix of low effort put into making a topic clear, trying to sound the least offensive whilst simultaneously trying to get the topic to arrive at some talking point. Technically only the latter is necessary to make a topic baity, but the other two are so comorbid it can’t be ignored.

I detest people that expect me to have a stance on a widely disagreed upon classification or label for a set of ideas from the get go. It puts me as the one expected to answer with some burden of proof for an assertion I never made, and that is a disgusting debate tactic most people are unaware of.

Furthermore, it doesn’t spark good conversations. It ends up at best either with us agreeing on the topic, or you taking issue with the view you forced me to answer incompletely about.

This has to do with reasonable expectations of invested time. If you ask me what I think about communism I will not respond to your 2 second question with anything more than a 2 second response. I will probably recognise the existence of the word as a response. Ask me instead what I think about workers’ collective ownership of factories, unions, what ownership of property really means, resource distribution or the morals of wages. Be specific, unambiguous and a little more high effort than “insert loose label here”.

You may read what we advise you to do in an ELO debate in our strategy document.

1.3 You say you’re right but unwilling to debate it

Overall this is wuss shit. Do you have the audacity to proclaim and parade your knowledge without offering it up for others to be convinced? You only wish to be revered and acknowledged for your stature without actually showing why you deserve it. At worst you’re a narcissist, at best you’re correct and losing out on points by not debating it in the ELO system. And who doesn’t want to document themselves being right, proving they are not a cocky narcissist?

Don’t make a fool of yourself, actually debate the stances which you agree with.

1.4 Pretending we have some relation

Whatever stature people think i have, be it high, low, intimidating, cool, i don’t want nothing to do with you unless i think our interactions are worth it. If you start referring to me by using words like “us”, “we”, "besties’’, “friends”, “pals” or otherwise i will ask you to stop, denouce your actions, declare that i do not have the acclaimed relation with you and then block you.

Honor or guilt by association is just toxic, and I will play no part in perpetuating a culture where that is accepted. Starting with the human in the mirror.

1.5 Unreasonable investigation expectations

For most this goes without saying, but if you seriously think you can post a 45 minute video explaining something you think is true, but not even introduce the video’s main arguments beforehand, attempt to argue it or even hash out why you think it is important, why the hell should i bother with it?

In debate it’s possible to stretch the opponents time thin by overloading the opponent with things they need to answer for, otherwise known as Gish Galloping. It works when allowed to happen because the opponent is forced to make rushed, shorthanded responses, wasting their time for other arguments in the process.

If life was a debate, content with unreasonable investigation expectations is just the same, it simply would waste too much time to investigate it fully only to find it is completely crazy and you wasted your time.

You want me to look at your argument? Make it yourself, coward! No clutter, no bullshit, just pure argument.

2. You taking issue with my behaviour

Simply put, individuals have different standards of what they deem to be acceptable. I have my standards, and they often cause me to take action and behave the way I do. You may have yours, and they need not always match mine. This section of the response document is not aimed at taking a pass at you, nor is it to grant you closure, but rather explain why I think your takes on me are baseless or worthless. Nothing personal, you being the one to propose these things is irrelevant to me refuting the beliefs proposed.

2.1 I’m “too cold”

Some view my lack of care for a lot of common social activities or the absence of me meeting their expected standards of what sociable behaviour is as dismissive of their person, antisocial, shut in, and “cold”.

The way I see it I do have a pretty deep running disregard for other people’s beliefs warranting attention by virtue of the beliefs being held by the person. If this offends you I’m sorry to say but there is no closure for you to find here.

Granted this is the case, I tend to not focus so much on the beliefs that occupy a person’s immediate thoughts, but rather how to overcome them. I am not very emotionally empathetic, moreso cognitively empathetic. Knowing this, my style of caring for people is not to sympathise or pity, but to offer up some of my time to talk things through, preferably causing real change, lessening the immediate issue in the process.

I do not view myself as cold. I care about people’s experiences and perceptions, but am quick to disregard that which I view as immovable. It protects me as well as them from needless issues. I rarely consider other people as immovable, and I tend to only think of them after some trying. I am not a psychotherapist and can not administer emdr or hypnosis to undo, unravel and treat deep seated biases in people to a sufficient enough degree I’d feel comfortable exposing them to confronting their suppressed issues.

It is exactly because I do care that I seem cold. I am not cold, I just care in a different way than you are used to. It is self care to not care about everyone!

2.2 I’m “narcissistic”

Narcissism is not a singular thing. The main ones I’ll address though are the main tenets of the four types of narcissism. I am for the sake of this section using WebMD.

Narcissism is extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them.

I am not selfish to degrees where I consistently place my needs over others.

While everyone may show occasional narcissistic behavior, true narcissists frequently disregard others or their feelings.

Disregard does not describe my motives or priorities in the slightest. I am rather perceptive, and I see others and their feelings, but I do not always acknowledge them as important enough for me to spend time on. I have an emotional battery and I need to prioritize myself so I do not get too emotionally drained. Just because I do not pay your emotions attention does not mean I am not paying anyone’s emotions attention.

I help those I can, but I can’t help everyone. Your emotions are valid no matter what they are, but that does not mean I am obliged to help you with them.

They also do not understand the effect that their behavior has on other people.

I believe I do to the best extent I can. Sometimes I get surprised by someone’s actions, clearly I did not see the signs then, but I mostly do not. I tend to behave because I want specific outcomes, because I want the effect my actions have on other people. I do however not want negative effects, and if that is a result of things it is unintentional.

There are times I do want to spark anger in someone, make them frustrated, or pissed enough to the point where they have no choice but confrontation. Mostly to be used on avoidantly pissy people. I have used this as a tactic before with success, other times to the dismay of others.

I am capable of taking critique, and had i known it would cause that reaction in the person it regarded i’d have considered other tactics. I can however not walk on eggshells.

People who show signs of narcissism can often be very charming and charismatic. They often don’t show negative behavior right away, especially in relationships. People who show narcissism often like to surround themselves with people who feed into their ego. They build relationships to reinforce their ideas about themselves, even if these relationships are superficial.

Often being good at convincing others, receiving compliments for who I am and having an ok ability to make other people enjoy my company is only one intention away from being manipulative. I dislike manipulating others, but to my own dismay I am rather good at it.

It is a constant fear for me whenever I speak with others that I may be manipulating them. How could they put up resistance if I was? Please call me out if you think I am manipulating someone.

That being said, my emotional baseline is pretty stable, my reactions to others pretty consistent and I’m rather independent of the need for validation. I would never trap another person with me just to get validation of my own stature, grandeur etc.

That being said, I sometimes like to brag about my achievements, but that’s mostly to say I’m proud that I did something. Me being a high achiever would have nothing to do with that.

Grandiose Narcissism
…They tend to brag and be elitist.
Those with grandiose narcissism are aggressive, dominant, and exaggerate their importance. They are very self-confident and aren’t sensitive.

I am elitist about debating in the context of the ELO system because I want to see who ends up being the best debater. Any bragging about my score is mostly to egg on people to debate me when they try to dismiss my skill and say they are far better. If they are, their score should end up reflecting it if they debate.

My directness and no bullshit policy can sometimes be misconstrued for aggression. I personally see no reason why I would be aggressive on the internet, what am I gonna do, punch the screen? I do not have issues controlling myself when it is actually called for. But someone complaining that I raised my voice, that I’m hardlining one argument until the other party of the debate answers, and getting procedurally more insistent the more they try to avoid it is not a show of aggression. It is a show of strategy and in my opinion good debating.

These things can appear to be dominant and very self important, but I think that is making a fundamental attribution error. Arguments are the oppositions, humans debating are just the vessels through which these things happen. The rebuttal I bring, the hardlining, the incessant use of tone and particular phrasing is not aggression, but the main way the argument to defeat the other position can be made.

Outside of debate I am a different beast, and quite frankly I do not wish to be seen as such either, because it’s simply not me as a person.

I am, however confident, that is not a bad thing. It is an absence of awkwardness. I can also be sensitive, it is just that as addressed above, there are limits to how sensitive one can be. If I am disproportionately insensitive please do tell me, that is not my intention!

Vulnerable Narcissism
… People with this behavior are much more sensitive. Narcissistic behavior helps to protect them against feelings of inadequacy. Even though they go between feeling inferior and superior to others, they feel offended or anxious when others don’t treat them as if they’re special.

Nobody wants to feel inadequate, but I have no reason to believe I personally am rejection sensitive or anxious about being seen as inadequate. I simply don’t feel superior or inferior to people overall. My view is that I harbour traits, and comparing the totality of me versus someone else will not help bring me forward, at best only highlight how far i can go.

I rarely feel offended, but I can act offended for shits and giggles. My anxiety is fairly low.

Sense of Entitlement
A common sign of people with narcissism is the belief that they are superior to others and deserve special treatment. They believe that others should be obedient to their wishes and that the rules don’t apply to them.

If I break my own standards, do tell me. I aim not to!

Manipulative Behavior
Another common trait of narcissism is manipulative or controlling behavior. A narcissist will at first try to please you and impress you, but eventually, their own needs will always come first.

When relating to other people, narcissists will try to keep people at a certain distance in order to maintain control. They may even exploit others to gain something for themselves.

The very fact I am writing this document on how much I will not try to please you should be enough to disprove the first part of that claim. I dislike manipulation. I do not seek to impress you for social standing, why should i?

I rarely have emotions to open up about, and rather include my excitement, fear, intrigue or otherwise in the subjects to which they are relevant.

You may find me showcasing my happiness by sharing really great news, like this great barrier reef spawning event!

Ask literally anyone what I have gained from them. Even then I would not exploit others for it!

Need for Admiration
One of the most common signs of a narcissist is a constant need for praise or admiration. People with this behavior need to feel validation from others and often brag or exaggerate their accomplishments for recognition. They also like to feel appreciated to boost their ego.

I quite simply don’t. I do like feeling appreciated, but who doesn’t?

Lack of Empathy
Lack of empathy is another sign of narcissism. This means that the narcissist is unwilling or unable to empathize with the needs, wants, or feelings of other people. This also makes it difficult for them to take responsibility for their own behavior.

I am both willing to and wishing to empathise to the extent it is reasonable. I am very willing to recognise my own impacts, choosing disengagement from people who i am incompatible with as a last resort is evidence of that.

Arrogance
People with narcissistic behavior already see themselves as superior to others, so they may become rude or abusive when they don’t receive the treatment they think they deserve. While they hold themselves superior, they may speak or act rudely toward those that they deem are inferior.

I agree that this may be a tough one to distinguish, because this differentiation can only be known by knowing my intentions. Me becoming rude or what others may consider abusive towards people who appear to be treating me against my wants is because I feel I deserve better, not because I think myself superior.

Time Wasting and other issues are not a matter because I am royalty, I am the best, I know what’s right, but because I have limits, and some limits I simply can’t tolerate engaging beyond. Hence this document to explain them because i believe simple rejection would be doing the human on the other end a disservice.

If you recognize narcissism in yourself, you can begin to change your self-esteem to self-compassion. This means treating yourself with kindness instead of comparing yourself to others. You can stop trying to evaluate yourself against others, which can lower your need for praise and recognition.

Lastly, if you’re still not convinced I am not narcissistic, at least you can take solace in the fact that my rhetoric about myself is built on self compassion and not comparison and toxicity.

2.3 I’m “sociopathic”

For this section I’ll simply provide the list from WebMD, alongside how these do not apply to me.

Consistent behavior patterns in sociopaths include:

  • Lack of empathy for others
    I am capable of understanding and taking others’ emotions into account, and I do give it consideration.

  • Impulsive behavior
    I’m rather unimpulsive, simply put.

  • Attempting to control others with threats or aggression
    I’m not really into domineering over others to control them, its no fun.

  • Using intelligence, charm, or charisma to manipulate others
    Never intentionally at least. If you think I am, tell me!

  • Not learning from mistakes or punishment
    I tend to learn from my experiences, and can’t recall when I have not. Does not mean I will “learn” anything and everything people want me to, there are valid contradictions after all.

  • Lying for personal gain
    Nope (spoken like a true liar)

  • Showing a tendency to physical violence and fights
    No. I do not have aggression issues

  • Generally superficial relationships
    I despise superficial relationships. Hell, I hate smalltalk! I desire the deep!

  • Threatening suicide to manipulate without intention to act
    Never.

  • Sometimes, abusing drugs or alcohol
    I don’t do any drugs except prescription ones.

  • Trouble with responsibilities such as a job, paying bills, etc.
    Nope.

The conclusion is obvious.

2.4 I’m “grandiose/self-important”

I carry myself with a certain stature. That stature is not disproportionate imo. I do not brag about my status. The way I see myself it is an act of mere self respect to set boundaries and to shut oneself off from time wasters like some people present.

Grandeur is only in the eyes of the beholder. Stop thinking of me as grand or important and you’ll find what you’re left with is a Clincoin with self respect. It really is that simple.

2.5 I’m censoring / deplatforming you by kicking you from my lounge room.

I pay for lounge access on the server’s patreon. You not following my orders in a room that I control and pay for is honestly your problem, not mine. Why should I keep people around in there if they can’t obey my personal boundaries?

That in my case also means if you cross other, more established people’s boundaries you’re easy to toss out. I also sometimes toss you out of the room for reasons I normally would have used §2.1 for in a debate scenario.

3. Frequently asked questions Q&A

Sometimes I just get questions I need to answer very often. Instead of giving a half assed response each time why not give one decent response once? This is purely a convenience measure.

3.1 Why does the server not have non-debate rooms?

In short it’s a debate server. The lounge feature only exists to serve our patrons so we may cover our server costs. General and meme dump exist as to not overly clutter the debate chats, and have a public avenue where one can communicate.

3.2 “Ohmygod the server requires me to watch an entire video”?

Yes. Problem? We spent 2 years making it, won’t you spare us 2 minutes and 26 seconds of your time to watch its fruits and analogously learn how to make fruit salad?

3.3 Why do I have to take a test for pic perms?

Because having perms disabled by default is helpful for moderation, random new users can’t join and post CP etc. That is good for server security and lessens moderation pressure. The fact that the test is automated also grants mods less time needed to grant roles, which is time and energy they may use for moderating actually important stuff, or being less overloaded.

Lastly, the test ensures that people read the rules and understand them, and lays some good foundations for further engagement in the server.

4. Otherwise things i want you to know

There are things that I often want to post that don’t really fit other categories, so I will put those here.